revisiting home

Felled by a nasty virus.
Ever have those days when all you can manage is to mindlessly push buttons on the remote control?
Daytime television is repulsive.
I turned to the computer instead.
  Yes, I am a dork.
 Truly.
I watched the loons and eagles and herons nesting all over the world.
I read news from everywhere that truly depressed me.
I played on google maps.
oh, not just played, no, I traveled.
From right here at home I peeked in to places I would love to go to.
with the mouse I drove an imaginary car on roads in remote places and distant places.
I looked up my childhood home...

There it was, neat and tidy. the big tree in the front yard gone. the crab apple gone too. The house painted a boring white instead of the wonderful two tones of green I remember.
I could see the garage my grandfather built for us still standing, a testament to his skills.
zooming out and above I saw my beloved back yard that once edged into a wonderful woods full of wild animals, adventures, childhood explorations under the spooky hardwood trees. I knew these woods went on for miles and miles.
But here on the computer screen was a small patch of woods that bordered a major highway that cut across swathes of newer subdivisions.
Not the home of my childhood any longer.
So many homes since then.
Other memories, adult memories since then. Perspectives so different grownup memories
Houses, apartments, cities, states...
yet it is that childhood home that brings on a nostalgic haze of memories.  A mix of odd little memories. Things like the milk chute. The milkman!! we had a milkman who delivered milk. Milk that sometimes froze in the winter and cracked the glass jars!
 Summer days spent jumping over the front hedges from the porch, playing tag, catching lightning bugs capturing praying mantis bugs, snakes, the baby raccoon we rescued from certain death and raised, birds we tried to save after the cats got them. shoes lost in the muck of mud while playing in the woods after a rain...
no. you can't go home again as the saying goes.
it can not be the same.
you know this
and that's all just fine too.

But you can google your way around the world.

Memorial day. The solemnity of the day is usually buried under piles of ham and potato salads. A day to honor and remember our soldiers. Wether one believes in the honor of battles fought or not  is put aside to remember those who died fighting them.  A moment of quiet thought or prayer for them on this day is a small ( rather minuscule really ) bit for us to do. Parades and hoopla, picnics and family. May everyones weekend be full of what makes life wonderful. Embrace all that is good and full of love in your life.

patches

A heart can be made up of bits
and pieces
stitched together
by time
by love
mended from hurts
stronger for the stitches

Happy Moms Day

Its mothers day. Promises of sunshine and warm winds. Beautiful and as it should be! I am one of the lucky daughters.  I have a mom who always has my back.  Oh, though it may have been hard from time to time.  As a stubborn 5 year old who ran away to the neighbors home rather then clean my room. She even helped my pack my little suitcase. Taking out the party dresses and hanging them back up. In the end I think all I had in there were toys. As I left, and she watched, I was told to come back when I was ready to clean my room. Humph...Neighbor called mom and I was allowed to stay for dinner and then sent home with the excuse that they had no room for another child. Somehow this made me sad and I forever thought they were poor. Not that I really wanted to stay but OH that room of mine was a mess! I went home and cleaned my room..
  Ah but then came the teen years....sigh...Um. Mom?   I apologize for those years !!!
Mom taught me so many things. tiny little things. big things. important things. things that I will always hold dear. things I passed on to my daughters.
a love of art. and books. and furry creatures. memories of her singing a Dionne Warwick song and dancing a bit with happiness. camping at the dunes in the U.P. kisses, hugs, laughter. long conversations about anything.
unconditional love.
    So much of what my mom ( all moms! ) did was taken for granted. Then I too became a mom. What a glorious amazing wonderful time that is! Two daughters, both so different and so loved. They have taught me so much! Watching them grow and become moms themselves. Life is GOOD. Thank you my lovely daughters!
Thanks Mom!
Happy Mothers day!

Milk Moon 5-5-12

the brightest moon of 2012
Milk Moon.
all day clouds
rain
cold
too cold for May.
At 9:00pm the clouds covered the moon.
I could see the faint glow of light
just a haze of light.
I stood in the back yard
feeling  disappointed by the cloud cover
and the cold.
Hours later
I took a peek out the window to see
This.
big
bright
Moon.
no howling from me
as I stood out there in the dark cold night
of my backyard in pajamas and no shoes
 taking pictures...

Evening walk

Early evening moon faintly showing in the fading light

Our weather has been all over the place.

cold.

then wet.

now hot

steamy.

helicopter seed pods rain down.  

dancing spirals

 slow spins touching spring green grasses.

a robin sings sweetly from a good perch.

bumble bees buzz the nearly open honey locust blooms.

small creatures play peek a boo.

rat-a-tat-tatting drums a beat.

this master recycler is hard at work.

new births are near for the does.

a glorious evening as the sky darkens to show off the moon.